Living in the Temporary: Reflections from Displacement

A personal story about losing home, finding resilience, and discovering what truly grounds us

January 7th was a day that changed the lives of many people I know. In my newly adopted home, I became displaced.

I didn't lose my home entirely—it was damaged, leaving me displaced ever since. I've moved around constantly: different hotels, back to the east coast, and finally to California's Residence Inn in Pasadena, which became my temporary home until yesterday.

I'm still displaced, and we're frantically cleaning the house, making up for the mediocrity of the restoration company. We lost many of our possessions. I had two pods of belongings I'd moved from Colorado—all more or less lost. It's my life and my history in many ways, which brings empathy for those who actually lost everything. I can see these things, look at them, but may not be able to keep them as part of my life.

What We Lose, What We Keep

I'm talking about the infant memorabilia of my children—their clothes and lovies. I reminisce over the many music scores that were fundamental to my life, to me actually. I feel a kinship to these books that words can't capture. They're symbols of the past, but something much greater in my heart.

There are the usual things: clothes, purses, shoes—all more or less replaceable. There are dishes and glassware we can salvage. Many belonged to my mother or grandmother, so I'm sentimental about them.

But what's really on my mind, what finally settles after so much time in the unknown, is this feeling of adjusting to temporariness. Everything is temporary. And yes, much of what happens to us in life is exactly that, even when we get comfortable with that ever-changing state.

Finding Ground in Groundlessness

I found things that grounded me: beautiful walks, Peloton bike workouts, listening to music I love, and reading about the very unhinged world we live in—one I'm loath to accept.

I don't have many friends here, so much of my communication has been with those elsewhere. I kept family updated with emails and texts. I took videos of the horrific scenes just a block away. I forced myself to drive through much of the destruction to experience it as reality. My heart breaks for those I know who have to start over. In an odd way, I can put myself somewhat in their shoes, though I'd never equate our realities.

Abrupt Endings

Our time at the Residence Inn came to an abrupt end. The insurance company screwed up and didn't tell us we were approaching our maximum coverage. We could have done things to prevent this, but we didn't know. Suddenly, with less than 24 hours' notice, we had to say goodbye to what had become home for recent months.

A bit of panic ensued as we packed up everything we'd acquired and figured out where to go next. Several of my daughter's kind friends offered their homes. We're staying with them now in this beautiful enclave in Glendale. They are kind, giving, and caring.

What Displacement Teaches

I'm reflecting on the whole experience and how it changes you forever. My forever may be shorter than some, but it can still affect life going forward. During this time, I've reflected on what I've been doing and its role in my life. Do I really want to do this? Have I been manufacturing passion for something that ultimately doesn't value my contribution?

I started this Substack for real estate people and have slowly morphed it into a blog about my life and values. Whatever comes next will benefit from this time, I believe.

I'm not sure what's next for me. I've been displaced longer than I was placed. How will it be when I'm back in "my space"? Will these life lessons remain, or slowly fade into normalcy?

Moving Forward in Uncertainty

You can't wait to see what happens. You need to be proactive to move forward, yet my life remains full of unknowns. I hope this helps others realize what they're feeling and that it's okay. I've realized things about myself and my family that may be difficult to acknowledge and adjust to, but nonetheless, they move me forward.

Stay tuned, I guess! I don't have many subscribers—this isn't really for them. It's for me. But I do hope it starts conversations. I'd like to hear the thoughts of others. There's a lot to talk about.

What grounds you when everything feels temporary? How do you find home when displaced? Share your thoughts in the comments—I'd love to hear from you.